The Husband is to Provide Financially.

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  1. Lisa says:

    PLEASE help me with some advice on this and thank you, thank you, thank you for posting this! I work over 40 hours per week now and it blows my mind to even write that. I have a good professional degree in healthcare but it is exhausting and I have been burnt out for quite some time. I actually chose this career because I knew I could work one or two hours per day and be payed well. I always intended to stay at home with my kids (working very part-time if necessary) just like my mom and his mom did. My husband know this. He has a job; he is a high school teacher. In the beginning I tried my very best to be a “non-nagging” spouse and support his career. I did encourage him to get his masters, get national board certified, or get a side job (like tutoring in the summer) after the kids were born to no avail. I spoke to him about downsizing and selling our home to live within his salary, again to no avail. I feel forced to work and I have slowly had to add more and more hours due to his financial irresponsibility. He let our credit card debt grow over $25,000 and did not tell me. When I happened to open the bill one day I was sick. He said he didn’t want to worry me and “we just didn’t have the money.” Then a couple years ago he wasn’t paying the quarterly taxes and I found out when they (~$10,000) were due. We are now paying that off in monthly installments. He wants to be the payor and he pays the minimum balances on time but does not balance our bank account or do any budgeting (we go into overdraft frequently). That is how I am now working overtime; something I never ever would have imagined. I have a separate account for my work expenses, an IRA, and taxes now. When I express my frustration it just defeats him instead of energizing him into action. I truly feel unloved. I have honestly found myself admiring other hard working men who provide for their families and that scares the crap out me. I am crying out to God right now to protect me from myself and to convict him. I have convinced my husband that we need counseling and he is willing, but nervous, about going. We are in the process of looking for a good counsellor.