You Would Die For Your Wife…(but will you serve her?)

ImageHi Husbands. I have a question for you. If I asked you if you would die for your wife, you may well say, “Of Course!” If I asked you if you would suffer for your wife, you may likely say, “yes!” Let us take a look at what Jesus did, that many of us forget. What if I asked you if you would humble yourself and be a servant for your wife? I assume there would be a few more hesitations, a few yes’s and a lot more no’s. What if I told you that Jesus became a servant for his bride – even before he died for her sins? The easiest way to see this is to remember that Jesus himself grabbed a towel and got down on the floor and washed his disciples’ feet. This is an image of the bridegroom, Jesus, humbly serving the bride, his Church. But also note at this time that not one of the men in that room ever doubted who their leader was.What I am trying to get at here is that a husband’s servant-hood does not undermine headship; it defines it. Jesus does not cease to be the Lord of Lords and king of kings when he becomes the servant of the church.

I guess what I really want to say is that a husband’s headship is not some God given right to control or to abuse or to neglect. On the contrary, it is the responsibility of the husband to love like Christ in leading and protecting and providing for our wives and children. And this makes the wife’s submission one of Love and respect, not slavish or from intimidation or from dread. That is not the way Christ wants the church to respond to his leadership and protection and provision. What so many men have sinfully used to define authoritarian roles for themselves in the past we can see is nothing of the sort. Ephesians 5:22-33 (quoted at the end) does two things for us: First, It guards against the sinful abuses of headship by telling husbands to love like Jesus, and it guards against the demeaning of submission by telling wives to respond the way the church does to Christ.

So, guys, the next time your wife asks you if will rub her feet… 🙂


Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her  to make her holy,cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.  In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.  After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body.  “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

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