So is He Husband Material?

Do you have a boyfriend?  I bet he is cute.  You probably laugh at every joke he tells, and when he held your hand for the first time, your heart probably raced a million miles a minute. He probably takes you to dinner, movies and the beach, and you have a great time.  So is he a believer? He is?  Great!  What about church?  Does He pick you up to go to church – every service?  He does?  Great!  I bet he even has his own Bible…He does?  Awesome!  Now, have you ever seen him read from it or heard him pray?  How about this…have you ever prayed together? Does he speak of Christ? If he does, does he walk the talk?  I mean, does his life show that he believes or does he get drunk and smoke and swear and curse and live a an unholy life outside of the church building?  Has he tried to seduce you into having sex or participate in any physical activity you might not feel is exactly Christian?  I just want you to think long and hard about this.  It was Matt Chandler who said that there are lots of neat Christian boys out there, not a lot of Godly men.

So is he husband material? Is he a neat Christian Boy or a Godly Man?

What do I mean by godly man?

ImageWill he lead you in your discipleship?  Will he care about your soul? Will he pray with you, read the bible with you and ask you how your walk with Christ is going?  Will he care about your soul? Will he lead you in prayer? In couples devotions? When you have kids will he lead the family in devotions and public worship? What is more important to him – Christ or Cars?  Church or Hockey?  Love or lust?  Will he lead your kids in these things? Or will you have to do it? Many women have married a neat Christian boy – who are simply spiritually immature men – thinking that it wasn’t a big deal, because they thought…”well he can change!”  But they were wrong.

My wife made this very mistake.  Before we married, I think we had devotions 5 times.

When I was young, I spoke of the joys of the lord, yet I gave in to the lies of the devil.  I did not walk the talk.  I did not lead her in prayer or look after her soul, and now we are where we should have been 13 years ago.  I am still learning to be a godly man after 11 years of marriage, when I should have been one BEFORE we got married. Yes, God can turn a neat Christian boy in to godly man; I am a prime example of that.    My wife probably should not have married me when she did; it is a miracle that God changed me and our marriage.  When you young Christian ladies choose your husband, make sure that he is aware that you were purchased by Christ for a price, and he must appreciate that, and lead you according to the example that Christ set forth.  Do not pick a man hoping he will change. Because not many of them do change. Hold out for a godly man, it is better to be lonely now, than to be lonely after you are married. It is better to suffer now, than to suffer the pain of a broken marriage later.

There are Godly men out there.  I promise. No one is perfect, I am not saying look for the perfect man – look for a godly man. Pray for one, hold out for one and do not settle for less.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church-for we are members of his body. Ephesians 5:25-30 (NIV)

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  1. Maaike says:

    My Newsfeed had your, as well as this article on it this morning. Great points, both of them!

  2. It’s so wise to be aware of all of the characteristics of the man you are thinking of marrying. As you say watch his day to day attitudes and actions especially towards other people…Diane

  3. Alisa says:

    Something to think about.. Dads do you want your daughters to marry someone like you? Are you a godly father/ man? Fathers are a big role model in their daughters lives. If they are not living a godly life in all that they do, then their daughters might chose someone who isn’t really either since that’s what they grew up with and think that men should or might be like anyway. How a man treats his mother and sister(s) is also a very good indication how he really is and how he will treat his wife.
    Very good article. So many young ladies just love with their hearts and not always with their minds to see the true man.

  4. Sarah says:

    It just seems like recent generations may have dropped the ball in preparing men to be the people they ought to have been. There are, in my opinion, many “Christian boys” who might have been “Godly men” by now had they had better, stronger, more consistent, Christian influences in their lives. I suspect the same is true for women to a large extent, though as a woman I don’t see that as much.

  5. Darren says:

    Nice article, and very true.

    Further to this… Are we (you) a jelly-fish Christian?