How to Prevent Divorce.

How to prevent divorce.  This is not going to be some brilliant psychological exposition on the brain function of a man verses a woman.  This is not going to be some magical elixer or love potion.  I am not going to tell you that you need to put toilet seat down…although you should do that…What I am going to say here is an obvious truth, even more obvious than putting the toilet seat down.  Yet for some reason, most married Christian couples neglect, this obvious truth.  And men this all falls on you…(just like if your wife falls in the toilet…)

Have you ever heard the saying, “A couple that prays together, stays together.”?  Cliché?    Absolutely!  And that is it.  That is the secret…Have you ever heard of a married couple who prayed together for years and then got a divorce?  I am not talking about the husband praying at dinner time, or the couple having separate devotion times.  I am talking about a couple who go on bended knee together every single day and pray.  Not a prayer because you have to…but a real heartfelt prayer, where the actual sins of the day are confessed, where the real heartaches, burdens, cares and disappointments are laid at the foot of the throne of grace; where the blessings received from the Lords hand are rejoiced in, where supplication is made on behalf of each other…together, as man and wife, as one flesh. Well?  Have you?  I have not.  I’ve asked a number of pastors and counselors if they have ever heard of a couple who broke the cliché, “a couple that prays together, stays together.”   The answer is always no.  Although I am sure they exist, because this is broken world, I have not found one. It has been said that when a couple daily goes before God in prayer together that is more powerful in bonding them together than sexual intercourse.  It is also said that praying together leads to a more fulfilling sex life. I thought I would throw that in there in case any of you men were wondering… (but that should not be your purpose in prayer!)

A couple’s daily prayer together is the reason their marriage stands strong when the wind and rain beat against it.  Why is this?  Matthew 18:19-20 tells us why:

  Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven.  For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.

Jesus tells us that he is there with us when we are gathered together in His name!  That is why a marriage will stand when the winds batter it, because Our Lord is stronger than our weakness, stronger than Satan, stronger than the wind and the rain of sin.  Even if you are angry with each other, pray together! Ephesians 4 tells us:

 “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,  and do not give the devil a foothold.

Even if you have sinned against each other, or there is some sort of tension or disagreement between you, still pray together even if it is difficult.  James tells us:

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.

Prayer is powerful.  Prayer can heal.  Christ is there when you are gathered together in Prayer, and he is stronger than Satan, stronger than your weakness.  Therefore do not neglect it! Even if you spend only a couple minutes per day, make the time!

I admit that our prayer life as a couple could use some improvement, and being the head of the house, and the spiritual leader of my wife, it falls on me.  I will be held accountable for this, not her. So, men, will you join with me in resolving to pray with your spouse every day? Prayers don’t have to be long every day, but you should pray with your spouse every day, even if it is just a minute or two. And then at least a couple times per week make time to focus and get on your knees, and really pour your hearts out to God together.
Prayer.  God is faithful to keep his promises, and he has promised that if “two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven.  For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”

Get down on your knees…with your wife.

And remember to put the toilet seat down.

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  1. Ed Hambleton says:

    Great advice… thanks.

  2. doulanic says:

    Excellent points. Martin and I have made it a habit to pray together every morning before we part ways. It’s a prayer for each other and the needs of the day. It’s good to have something in place …..but I don’t know about heartfelt prayers with confessions etc. Those are my personal prayers – private devotion times. Thanks for the post though!

  3. s.and.s says:

    this is the rock of marriage:) well written.