I am Tired and Grumpy


I am tired and grumpy.

I am working evening shift right now.  My days are long and my nights are short.  I am running on little sleep, I don’t see my wife except for a few minutes in the morning and on weekends. In my sleep deprivation, I tend to lose my patience.  When I get tired…”Old Ryan” wakes up.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. ~2 Corinthians 5:17

Old Ryan gets mad at the kids really quickly.  Not a nice guy.

My lack of patience also leads to very short family devotions – but Old Ryan does not mind that.

My productivity at home slows down, and the temptation to slack off at home is greater… I mean I just want to veg. Kick back.  Lay in bed, or on the couch while the kids play My Little Ponies, as the house gets messier and messier.

I admit it when I am nearing the end of my 2 week stint on evening shift… Not much gets done around the house … I mean I am really tired! Just look at the bags under my eyes!

My coworkers’ word’s ring in my ears, “Tell your wife to take on more responsibility when you work evenings – Be a man. Put your foot down. You work hard and deserve some R&R.” I admit these are all very intriguing arguments when one is tired and has a little bit of that old nature left in him.

But the Bible’s message to me is exactly the opposite of my coworker’s advice. The Bible tells husbands:

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself up for her.” Ephesians 5:25,

In other words: “Crucify yourself.”

Crucify myself?

But I am so tired and…that does not sound like fun.

And really…we all know that even the best-est Christian husband, on his best-est day, with 8 hours of the best-est most uninterrupted sleep can’t even come close to Christ’s loving sacrifice for the church. So what could Paul possibly expect of me when I am so tired?

Yet the Bible still tells us husbands, “love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself up for her.”

We are selfish creatures…at least I am.  I am pretty sure that Jesus was tired when He went to the cross for His bride.  So I guess I really have no excuse for my grumpy-ness, for my impatience, for my lack of motivation…For letting “Old Ryan” out to play.

And in light of what Christ did for His bride, I have nothing to complain about.

One day, I hope to be more like Jesus and less like “Old Ryan.” And that day will come when Old Ryan will be put to rest.  Maranatha, Come Lord Jesus!

So also is the resurrection of the dead. It is sown a perishable body, it is raised an imperishable body;  it is sown in dishonor, it is raised in glory; it is sown in weakness, it is raised in power;  it is sown a natural body, it is raised a spiritual body. If there is a natural body, there is also a spiritual body…Behold, I tell you a mystery; we shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed,  in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet; for the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised imperishable, and we shall be changed.  For this perishable must put on the imperishable, and this mortal must put on immortality. ~ 1 Corinthians 15:42-44;51-53

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