“I Know God Forgives Me, but I Can’t Forgive Myself.”
“I know God forgives me, but I can’t forgive myself.”
What pain to go through. I have said this in the past. What torture to put ones self through.
I wonder though, if you say this, do you really understand that God forgives you? What it took for God to forgive you? Consider that our sin is an affront to the holy Creator and king of the universe, and that in our sin we are deserving of eternal damnation, and that the eternal wrath of God should be ours to bear for all eternity, yet, God forgives us.
He not not only forgives you but he paid the price for your sin so that you could be forgiven! You see we cannot buy forgiveness. We don’t have enough money. But also consider that he not only forgives you but he loves you as well. And that is the precise reason he forgives you! He loves us more than we ever can hope to imagine. Just consider the outrageous cost of your forgiveness. Payment was written in blood. And this was no mere goat’s blood, this was the perfectly holy, sinless son of God, who suffered, died and rose again so that you could be forgiven.
Are you better than Jesus? Are you a more capable judge than the almighty?
I think not.
God forgives you, so it really doesn’t matter if you forgive yourself. I know that goes against the “wisdom” of this age, but the bible never once says you must forgive yourself. What it does say is that there is now no more condemnation for those who believe.
Oh but perhaps therein lies our problem!
For me it was serious doubt, that caused me to say I could not forgive myself.
Really, I could not believe that God would forgive me. So I wallowed in self pity as I placed myself in the penalty box, hoping that I could get back into God’s good graces that way. Is that what you are doing? Are you doubting God’s love toward you? Maybe you think that your sin is just too bad to really be forgiven. Maybe you are stuck in a pattern of persistent sin, and you want out, you just can’t find the way out, and you think that God does not love you. Perhaps the sun just is not rising on your dark night, and you are in the valley of despair surrounded by insurmountable mountains, and your faith just seems…
Do not despair of his love and forgiveness to you. It is not the size of your faith that saves you, it is the object of your faith that saves you. So cry out to Jesus.
God promises to forgive those who repent and turn to Jesus. If you are repentant, then God forgives you. No matter how distant his light may seem. No matter how much you despise yourself. No matter how dark your night is. No matter what.
If you are trying to forgive yourself…stop. What you are really seeking is reconciliation with God. That is what will fix the pain you feel. And the only one who can give it to you is God, and he freely gives it.
If you say that you cannot forgive yourself, turn to Jesus. Leave all of your guilt and shame at the foot of the cross. Hopefully, there, at the foot of the cross, in the blood of Christ, you will let go of the idea that you must forgive yourself, and then turn to the boundless grace of God.
Ultimately, You are right. You can’t forgive yourself. But God can…and has.