PSA: Check Your Nuts


Squirrel Nuts

Since being diagnosed with testicular cancer (TC) I have been doing a fair bit of research, and am becoming somewhat of an advocate for guys to check for it.


Let’s cut to the chase.

If TC is caught early on before it spreads from the testicle, it has a 100% cure rate (and you won’t need chemotherapy)! Sure you will have to have surgery, and take a 4-6 week vacation, and you may become the punchline for a couple of the jokes at work once you’re healed up, but so what…?

Don’t be like me.

Check your nuts!


Stainless Steel Nuts

So let’s look at some fast facts, TC is very rare compared to other cancers (0.7% of all cancers), yet it is the most common cancer in males aged between 15 and 35. Males of any age, from infants to the elderly, can develop TC, but more than half of the cases are documented between the ages of 15-35. TC is also most common in Caucasian males.

Here are some possible risk factors:

  • Cryptorchidism (undescended testicle),
  • Congenital abnormalities,
  • Inguinal hernia at birth,
  • Abnormal testicular development,
  • Having had TC before,
  • Having a family history of TC,
  • Having testicles. (Since I had none of the risk factors, I added this one.)


So while there is no known specific cause for TC, I did come across an interesting statistic:

99.99% ( that is adjusting for an error of +/- .01%) of men between the ages of 20 and 40, who have been diagnosed with TC have consumed a chemical compound known as dihydrogen monoxide (DMHO).

DMHO is a colourless, odorless, chemical compound that is also known as dihydrogen oxide.  It is used in the production of almost everything, including meats, fruits and veggies, to beverages, including coffee, tea, fruit juices, and beer! It is even sprayed on those healthy organic veggies!!


So please… If you are a man, and you have consumed DMHO, or even if you are not sure whether you have, you need to check yourself for TC with regularity.

Personally, I think it is easiest to check yourself in front of a mirror after engaging in a complete epidermal irrigation with thermally agitated dihydrogen monoxide.

Seriously though. If you are a guy… check your nuts!

Here is a link to a Testicular self exam “how to”, should you need some guidance.




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